How to Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

Antara Flow Unleashed
5 min readJun 7, 2024

A couple of suggestions to try on

Photo by SEO Galaxy on Unsplash

What produces the best results? Beating yourself up or giving yourself some grace and understanding?

If you’re unable to answer those questions, chances are, you’ve been hard on yourself for as long as you can remember. If that’s the case, I’m inviting you to

1. Not judge yourself (and certainly don’t beat yourself up about that) and
2. Be open to a different way of inspiring yourself.

I spent a great deal of my life being the mean girl to myself. I spoke about it in another article I wrote: “20+ Years in an Abusive Relationship”. For me, being really hard on myself created situations that required I be hard on myself again. It was a vicious cycle of frustration and disappointment that I was unknowingly creating with the way I continually responded to those situations. I won’t fully go into the neuroscience of it, that will be another article. What I do know is that when I learned that I played the biggest part in creating those situations, I went from beating myself up about that to beating myself up about beating myself up… until it finally sunk in that I had a choice to stop.

One of the most powerful questions I’ve come to ask myself is “How do I want to feel right now”?



Antara Flow Unleashed

Poems, short stories, & articles to inspire readers to look within, open minds, and shift perspectives to grow into the person they were designed to be.