Reduce Stress, Improve Communication, Preserve Relationships

Stop with the “Fake” No

Photo by Morgan Bryan on Unsplash

When you tell someone No, are you really saying no? Or are you giving a list of reasons why you can’t, won’t or don’t want to accept that offer, food, drink, invitation, etc?

NO is a Complete Sentence: Why is it so Hard to Say?

Reduce Stress

Research has named some of the common reasons people find it hard to say no (Byrne, 2020).

1. Learned behavior — perhaps you witnessed, at an early age, your parents or other influences in your life struggle with saying no.
2. Dislike of fear or conflict — sometimes there’s a fear that saying no will cause the other person to dislike or no longer love them
3. Fear of disappointing others — Saying no to someone means their feelings may get hurt. Without proper tools, that can be emotionally challenging to navigate and most people do not have the right tools.
4. The need to fit in and be liked — this is one of our oldest, deepest needs and comes from the need to survive. This is a hard one to combat and/or recognize at times.

Do you identify with one or more of those? Naturally, this list isn’t exhaustive. The challenge is, these reasons tend to operate at an…