Losing Your Fur Baby — A Poem
The pain no one warns about and how I’m working through it…
I wanted to be held close and told things are okay
Yet left alone in my grief and dismay
Condolences, sympathy, words of care
Fell on deaf ears, a torn heart, a blank stare
I sat replaying what I could have done
and all I wanted to do was take off and run
Anywhere the torture of grief and guilt
could be buried and slowly wilt
away with each moment, …I survive
yet half wishing I was no longer alive
My life’s meaning I started to question
slipping slowly into a deep depression
I don’t want this, it hurts so bad
I’ve never felt such a deep deep feeling of sad
No one warns how deep love can cause
Such pain when there’s loss of your furry paws 🐾
The loss of a pet (fur baby) who you’re fully responsible for
feels like a slam of rejection’s door
Consciously you know that’s not at all true
but to the grieving heart, the conscious thought doesn’t get through
At least not in the beginning, I constantly asked why
my fur baby was gone and all I did was cry
Eventually, though, sunny days regain their glow
And though my heart still hurts, it has begun to let go
Of the negative thoughts, and blame
guilt, sadness, and all the shame
I found myself walking towards a place of peace
my fur baby’s picture isn’t as painful to see
This let me know that in time I’ll be okay
and the pain will be different, in a more reverent way
So to you, beautiful soul, hang tight onto the knowing
Let this be a sign of deep inner growing
I hope this poem has helped if you’ve lost your fur child. Know that I hold you in my heart with great love too!
More context if you’re curious:
My fur baby transitioned on Aug 23rd, 2023. She was my first fur baby on my own (outside of growing up with a pup in my family. I was not around for any of those transitions, I was not prepared for this.) She was the only pup I had and I have no children. That means I had one job, keep her alive and well, happy and fed. She transitioned when I was away for work.
Imagine the guilt and thoughts of shoulds and coulds. And the questions of why… I tortured myself for a bit. And by the nature of my coaching, I had/have all the tools needed to get me through this devasting situation without a scratch. Or so I led myself to believe. I mean, I help others through theirs all the time! I’m also human, and even though I fully understood what was happening from a neurochemical perspective, my heart couldn't care less. Because of that, I searched for ways to better process this pain because I felt like I was going insane.
I found a few books helpful during this time. One in particular was not specific to losing a pet but it helped because it addressed other forms of grief as well. One of the key things I’ve learned through energy healing is that when your body knows you’re strong enough to release stored trauma and/or emotions, it uses circumstances like this to release other stored emotions. (It’s not always situations this gut-wrenching, it could be as subtle as road rage.. but I will save all that for another post). So when I read that book, it helped me identify areas of grief I hadn’t considered. Don’t get me wrong, I am quite sure 90% of it had to do with losing a piece of my heart so I don’t want to take away from that. Plus I’ve been releasing a lot of pains and traumas for years leading to this point. Here’s the book for reference: The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller.
Dear soul, just know your grief is yours to process the way you do. Allow no one to talk you out of feeling the way you feel. No guilt or shame for grieving as hard or as little as you need. Also know, if this is your first loss, the grief will come in waves. One moment you feel okay and the next moment it’s like day one all over again. Grieve … release… love on you even more during this time. Have even more compassion for yourself. It’s not easy but it will be worth it.
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